OCTOBER 2012 - I don't know for sure what caused the raspy, crackly, unable-to-hit-the-high-notes break in my voice last week, but regard- less of the cause, I needed some relief.
I stopped by the dollar store for something to soothe my vocal cords, walking away with a honey lemon cough drop that promised to cool my throat while helping to eliminate the symptoms and it worked.
An hour or so later, I pulled out a lozenge for some healing coolness, and was immediately perplexed.
Next to the brand name on the wrapper were two words written in black ink: "Dust off."
Uh, what's that?
I re-read the words. Yup, that's what it said: "Dust off."
Dust off what?
Why would someone sell a throat lozenge that needs dusting off before using it?
What do I dust off?
I've never much cared for the thin paper wrappers those things are enclosed in. Maybe someone realized there was a problem.
I followed the instructions, wiping the wrapper on my leg before untwisting the paper to reveal my golden oval throat candy.
That's when I realized the whole wrapper was printed with motivational sayings. At least I THINK they're supposed to be motivational.
"Turn can do into can did."
"Get back in the game."
"Inspire envy."
"Hi-five yourself."
"Push on."
"Conquer today."
Most of those, I get, but "Dust off?"
I'm assuming there's something more to the quote, but when I researched the question, I couldn't find an answer, although I did find other people who questioned these little Pep Talks, as Halls calls them.
Adding a little motivation to my throat medicine isn't a bad idea, I don't guess. Although, I have to question the wisdom of thinking that anyone sick would be concerned about inspiring envy. When my throat is sore and I'm having trouble talking, I don't feel much like conquering today.
But, it's not the sentiments that bother me. What gets me is that Halls didn't quite think this one through. They missed a flaw in the process that can result a wrapper instructing the holder to " dust off."
I still don't know what I'm supposed to dust off. My boots? My exercise equipment? Beats me, I just needed to hit the high note.
I did, by the way.
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